Tom's Rant

First of all, sorry about last episode - I forgot to upload the comic and Dave thought I hadn't done one, so he put up a filler. And today (and yesterday, and tomorrow) is the LAN so I can't be bothered making one for today. But rest assured we'll be back to McVille on Thursday.
The LAN itself is pretty good so far - I've been consistently getting my arse kicked at everything from StarCraft to Counter Strike, with a heavy measure of mooching files of everyone. My lounge room is an absolute wreck, thank God my parents are on holiday or my mum would go berserk.
I've wasted a little bit of time playing this game called Trogdor. It doesn't have much longevity but it's a distraction for a little while.
Just read Dave's rant, I'd forgotten that Easter was coming up, scrooge that I am. Oh well.
Oh, and I know Dave said last time that he'd make sure that you wouldn't have to put up with a 'here's a crap episode because Dave forgot and now we have to go to a LAN' episode. Well, he didn't, because I am far too powerful for him to make sure of anything, or something.
There was a bit of a hassle when Ben arrived and we tried to hook up his computer to the network. It just woudln't work for some weird reason until we discovered that the hub was plugged into itself. Whoopsie.
I also played the best game of Team Fortress Classic I've ever played. It turns out that Heavy Weapons guys are REALLY good flag defenders. Jacob (on the other team) tried at least 40 different strategies to get that flag, and I killed him every single time. Damn it was funny.

Dave's Rant

JACOB is having trouble understanding what a rant is about.
I don't understand this. It is probably my fault, because this little notes section tacked to the bottom of McVille is not reeeaaaallly a rant... it's just a blog, really. Or not even. Anyway, it certainly isn't a rant. But that's what we call it, so try and explain to someone they have to write a rant for today, when they don't even know what a rant is.
And yes, it IS as hard as it sounds.
Go to the forums. Read it and be cool like me.
Also, apologies to anyone who was morally offended by the filler strip we did. It was an accident. Tom was waiting for me to sign online so he could tell me to write a rant for the episode. I never signed on, but my rant had been sitting there for about 12+ hours, waiting for the episode. Then when it updated, only my rant went through, not the episode, because it wasn't there...
Complex. Anyway, it shouldn't have happened, but Hoppy Easter anyway.

Bob's Rant

it was a dark summer's night, the wind was howling like a carpet rat gnawring on some wood.
and then, suddenly...

BANG!!!!!

i turned the computer on.

this coke will keep me refreshed i said, as i gazed into the hypnotic vortex that was my computer screen.
and just as i was about to move the mouse, a big screensaver exploded onto my screen, and i read the bright purple text against the blueness of backgound and it said...

SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE

i died

then i didnt, so i hacked out of the screensaver and started up messenger, then i got bored so i went to a lan at tom mcleans house

cant touch this

or else

bored

i dont even like rants

tom reads the theness of comics that are the equals of styleness of tom

Hammer time.

Jacob's Rant

one day i was shooting up my usual drugs and making my not funny impersinations ofSandra Bullock when a friend from lon gisland came barging in. without saying hello he ran into the liquor cabinet shouting 'THE FINEST, THE FINEST, I NEED THE FINEST!", naturaly i offreed to share my pallette of drugs thinking this is what he wanted, after hesitating he flinged the tray in the air which landed in the near by furnace. some would think this is where i draw the line but this friend was diffferent to my usual chums who get off by watchiing Tatu boast about their sexuality, this particular friend lived two lives, one as my friend, and th eother as a underground hacker called Frobo. it started to become predictable when he would run in the door franticly looking for alcohol or what ever, so i dind't give a damn as long as he kept his hoes off the leather seats.
at this moment i was on the floor trying to beat the carpet fibres from sucking the drugs, i won. but my friend kept on pushing me to help him fine a cigar, too classy for cigars i slapped him and said "IM NOT CASTRO! SNAP OUT OF IT!". that was th elast straw, now i was in trouble, he wasn't going to take any crap from me, especiallyin my own home. after the first round of beatings by my, still obviously working out, friend asked if i could fell my legs, i replied "what if i can't see them, will that do?" he stormed out the door and decieded that bigger fish had to be fried.
Now me being a aged hippie and all, you learn things, one in particular is always occupy a wheel chair in the house, you never know ehn you might need sympathy (a relativ with lots of money, the CIA or in one particular case the fumigators), so i hauled my ass up on the chair and went to the medicine cabnet to find some bandages, asprin and something for later. i opened the doubled sided cabinet and almost had to restrain myself from what i saw, a ancient, pirated american published porn video. i quickly wheeled my crippled ass to the VCR where i launched the videw into the slot.
the video was quite satisfying, one reson being that the plot was quite eas yto understand; a group of aliens brought to earth to destroy all humans by removing all fluids in their body, and the only way to counter this was to have mad physical sex with the liqued lacking victims.

Berend's Rant

So, here at a LAN, and I've been asked to do a "rant". And quite frankly, I've got no idea. So, my topic, which I haven't thought of even during typing THIS sentence is... FALSE ADVERTISING. Example the first: Two minute n00dles. The directions, roughly, state "Microwave for two minutes. Stand for a further minute. ENJOY OUR PRODUCT OF LIES". If you look closely, and have any math skills, you may note a slight discrepancy. Car ads. But one of the most irritating things I know of is the little *'s in ALL advertising material. "NEW COMPUTER! $1.00!*" And at the bottom: *Please note, $1.00 is the price of one three thousandth of the computer. This, of course, is written in text small enough that using that size, you could write the bible on a grain of sugar. I've seen, on a packet of chips: "Win $1000! No purchase necessary. Details inside." I mean, really. Talking about this has led me on to another topic. Advertising Consultants. Some of the ads on TV, are funny. They make you laugh, and want to buy the product. But those ads, that are so stupid, they make you want to shut off the mains in your house to make sure there's no chance of it ever being on the TV again. Those advertising consultants, that see the general population as stupid, moronic idiots that would laugh at something like that. It's just condescending.